We don’t often look to anime to warm the cockles of our hearts, and so in compiling this, my list of the top four official anime couples, I had to rule out anything involving large age gaps, harems, animals, sadomasochism and tentacles. Yes, official couples: shippers despair. But your hour may yet come.

And so, without further ado, it’s time to ask that all-important question: Just what the heck are “cockles?”

Warning: Minor spoilers follow, more drastic ones are marked line-by-line. These couples are main characters, so the spoiler, for those who’ve heard of a series but not yet seen it, is merely that it has a happy ending.

4) Haruhi and Kyon (The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya)

What man is capable of loving a woman as fickle, proud and generally insane as Haruhi? Probably a man too stubborn to be impressed, or put off, by anything. It’s no surprise in the series that these two end up together, but [spoiler] there’s nothing more adorable than the shocked expression on her face when Kyon finally smooches her.[/end spoiler]

3) Seiji and Midori (Midori Days)

I’m a huge fan of the relatively little-known mangaka Kazurou Inoue, whose Midori Days is the only title yet translated into English. He may be obscure because his work contains little fanservice, but he’s a clever and subtle storyteller; and nowhere is this more evident than in Midori Days where, unlike in ninety percent of manga, a plain and shy girl–Midori–slowly gains the affection of stand-offish tough guy Seiji.

2) Keitarou and Naru (Love Hina)

Akamatsu’s Love Hina, which introduced the Harem genre to many, is standard Harem stuff; but its climax between nerdy hero Keitarou and the Harem Girl he chooses to be with contains the most touching exchange of vows since Romeo and Juliet [spoiler]:

Keitarou: I just love seeing Naru naked! There’s something about her that drives me wild!

Naru: I feel the same way! Keitarou’s peeping escapades are the high point of my day! It’s fun seeing just what he’ll try next, and getting to beat the c**p out him makes it all worthwhile!

[/spoiler]

1) Hiroki and Sayuri (The Place Promised In Our Early Days)

To end on a serious note, Makoto Shinkai has a way of making us weep crazily with the silliest premises. In Voices From a Distant Star, it was cellphone text messages. Place, his second feature, develops the same theme: two ordinary people separated by a metaphysically vast distance. And some weird giant tower-thing. It also gives us a priceless line:

“The ends of my hair were stung with loneliness.”