Top Four (Unofficial) Anime Couples

Okay, I admit to being a huge nerd during the first wave of anime fandom. Granted I can’t claim, with any authority, not to still be a huge nerd; but if you share my unfortunate heritage, perhaps you remember something we used to do called shipping. This involved latching onto a pair in our favorite anime who exhibited unresolved romantic tension (if even that) and posting endlessly on message boards, for example, “TaiXSoraFTW!!!!” Sometimes we’d even create a portmanteau of their names, as in Taiora. Well, the fact remains that some of those were pretty fine couples, and here are my picks for the ones I most regret never became official.

4) Davis X Kari (Digimon)

See above. Can I say, for the record, that Digimon was a darned fine kids’ series. I always admired Davis’ pluck: for me, this blockhead upheld the principal that love is where you find it. You should be with the person who wants to be with you, not the one who happens to be the opposite number on your superhero team with a matching Crest and Digimon. T.K. hardly showed a shred of interest in Kari, but persistence like Davis’ should be rewarded.

3) Excel X Ilpalazzo (Excel Saga)

Granted, the deal was almost sealed in the final (canonical) episode; but not quite, and haven’t we all had crushes like this? Excel devoted her overflowing life energy to the frigid, sociopathic dictator Ilpalazzo, and if not a smooch, would a kind word be too much to ask for?

2) Harima X Tenma (School Rumble)

School Rumble, I understand, has ended. The anime doesn’t yet cover the end, and the last volumes of the manga haven’t been translated. I don’t know how it ends and frankly, I don’t want to know, because some of its many beautifully fleshed-out characters must end up disappointed. But whether this couple ended up being official or not, was there ever a more constant and gracious lover than mustachio’d punk Harima Kenji?

1) Jesse X James (Pokemon)

Show of hands; who else wished Team Rocket were the protagonists of Pokemon? I mean, they practically were, but just as Charlie Brown will never kick that football, their quest was the hopeless, absurdist counterpart to Ash’s. Given such a raw deal, why shouldn’t that spunky southern belle and refined British gentleman at least have found comfort in each other’s arms?

Five Bonus Points: Write the Team Rocket motto in the Comments box. C’mon. I know you remember it.