So, dressed in kimono of bold red and white
Zetsubou, o’er the neighborhood rooftops, took flight
For he had filled his sack with a quite thoughtful mix
Of nice gifts for the girls of class two, section six.

Meru Otonashi nestled warm in her bed
While visions of new ringtones danced in her head
(This quiet girl loved using cellphones a lot
Though her friends, whom she cursed out by texting, did not)
While she snoozed, a dark figure wrote down with a pen
The unlisted numbers of prominent men

Chiri Kitsu, the over-neat class rep-like chick
Got also a visit from Santa in the thick,
Dark night, and received, to keep her sharp mind busy
A ten-volume set of Hegel’s philosophy

Abiru Kobushi, connoisseur of beast’s tails
Got the mounted hindquarters of a fine humpback whale
While Nami Hitou, dull and plain as a rock
Got a thousand-yen bill** and a package of socks.

Zetsubou learned the price that, for peace, we must pay
They say his tiny withered heart grew three sizes that day
Kafka turns to the reader, with her eyes full of light:
“Merry Greed Day to all, and to all a good night!”

And Kaere Kimura, international flirt
Now seizes the author by the neck of his shirt
With fanservicing tendencies, and eyes of bright blue:
“Put an end to this parody now, or I’ll sue!”

Happy Holidays everybody,
Jacob Ritari

** about ten bucks